Smile because it had already happened.

Late for school again, -.- i seriously must get up early tomorrow for school !
Im tired today, spend my time sleeping during lessons. Social Studies plus Geography extra lesson after school, something happened again.

Yesterday mood was slightly happy after this and that, but aftermath... Emo is finding me. Dont know either too, i heard something positive and negative from friend, which made me feel that maybe im the one take thing too easy, actually thing is not what i think about. Im perhaps just thinking too much, wishing too much , hoping too much. Ya, maybe... Currently my mind just kept flashing just a word : DONT KNOW.

Today is the same as yesterday, yet again the same topic the same outcome. Questions popped up again, is not i dont wanna know what happening is i dont have the courage to know everything. Because i think that you are still standing on the starting point wondering what should you do. And yet im here standing wondering what are you gonna do for the next step, walk away and leave this problem? Or take it serious and solve it. I choose to believe you this time that you are trying hard on it, but yet somehow sometimes you just make me felt that im wrong. I choose to believe of what they said bout you which made me still pin abit of hopes on it but somehow your actions just tell me you are just saying it for excuses. I dont know... Because i dont think good things will come and find me, and wishes wont come true. Am i silly enough to believe of what they said? When everyone said thing getting better than last time, when i almost wanted to given up, your words made me get rid of this thinking. I wonder why whenever you around, sometimes you care yet sometimes you just treat it as nothing happened. Just one msg will do, is that so difficult ? Bcos everytime i received msg how i wish the msg is form you. Friend talked bout you today, i told him when thing starting to get on the tracks, perhaps then i shall think bout it? He said lots of thing, i sat down and think wisely but till then i just cant get any conclusion bout it. Maybe seriously, i should heard it from your own then i shall start thinking bout it ? Doubt you wont. I tried, but no matter how i lie to myself, the answer is still there , because it never left before. Im just lying to myself. You still stand a place in my heart. How i wished i dont know anything, how i wished i didnt saw anything, how i wished thing can get back to the same because things around like changing randomly. Things that should not changed, changed. Things that should changed, didnt changed at all.

I finished. Pouring all out feel much much better :)